I used to think the day my skin cleared would be the day I'd finally feel confident.
And for a while, it did.
After years of struggling with acne, Mandy helped me get my skin to a place I never thought was possible. I wore less makeup. I didn't avoid photos. I wasn't constantly thinking about what my skin looked like.
It was such a freeing feeling.
Not long after, I started working for Lavender Glow Co., and in 2023 I moved to Arizona. A new state, a new chapter of life, and a lot of changes—but for the most part, my skin stayed clear.
Of course, I still had the occasional breakout. Stress would show up on my skin sometimes, because let's be honest...our skin is always listening to what our body is going through. But it never became what it once was.
I honestly thought I had finally figured my skin out.
Then I moved to North Carolina. Suddenly, everything changed.
A completely different climate. Humidity instead of dry desert air. A new routine. A new environment. A new season of life. New stress.
And my skin started changing again.
Some days, it feels like I'm learning my skin all over again.
Around the same time, I also learned that my hormones were out of balance, which helped me understand that my skin wasn't just randomly "acting up." My body had been through a lot of changes, and my skin was responding to those changes.
It was a reminder of something I think so many of us forget:
Our skin is not something we conquer once and never have to think about again.
It changes with us.
But I wish I could say that because I'd experienced clear skin before, the return of acne didn't affect my confidence.
But it did.
It made me realize something I hadn't expected. I had spent so much time healing my skin that I hadn't fully healed the beliefs I'd attached to it.
Somewhere along the way, I started believing that clear skin made me prettier. More confident. More worthy.
So when my acne became more noticeable again, those old insecurities came rushing back.
I'm still learning how to change that mindset.
I'm still unlearning the idea that my confidence should depend on whether my skin is clear.
Some days that's easier than others.
There are still mornings when I catch myself picking apart every breakout in the mirror or feeling frustrated that my skin isn't where it used to be. But instead of letting those thoughts define the rest of my day, I'm learning to challenge them.
I'm reminding myself that taking care of my skin and being kind to myself don't have to be separate things.
I can want clear skin without believing I need it to be worthy of showing up, feeling beautiful, or living my life.
Maybe that's the real healing.
Not pretending acne doesn't affect me—but refusing to let it decide how I see myself.
Because healthy skin is a goal.
My worth isn't.
xo,
Megan
